How do you solve a problem like oor Kezia?

How do you solve a problem like oor Kezia?  After this week's car crash of a First Minister's Questions (which even had me face-palming for her), we now get her big speech to her party faithful at the Spring conference.  Well, I say conference, but it was held in Glasgow's IMAX theater which has a maximum capacity of 370, which tells you a lot about the plight that Labour in Scotland finds itself.

Anyway, in her big speech she gives us her vision for what will happen if Labour gets into power in seven weeks time, something which she herself doesn't think will happen apparently.  And what do we get?  Not very much as it turns out.  Even Severin Carrell seems to be struggling here.

The 1p rise in income tax?  Oh yes, that was the one that was going to involve some sort of council rebate to the lowest earners.  Quite how it's going to work is still a bit of a mystery, but they've got at least seven weeks to come up with the answer. 

A guarantee of every Scottish resident being able to see a GP within 48 hours?  But that's already a target of the Scottish government, hampered by the fact that there aren't enough GPs to meet that target due to difficulties with GP recruitment.  So how does Kezia intend to implement her guarantee?  We're not told.

Strict fiscal rules to stop Holyrood from cutting taxes and spending at the same time?  A decent principle, but principles have a habit of being changed once faced with the reality of their implementation.

And that's it.  The rest is just jibes at the SNP in general and Nicola Sturgon in particular, a strategy which clearly isn't working, but it's all they've got.  And Kezia seems to have a particular jealousy of the First Minister.

 I want Nicola Sturgeon's chair, her desk and the possibility of all the powers she has at her finger tips .

she says, managing to sound both megalomaniacal and envious at the same time.  I can't help but think that Kezia would find 'all the powers' to be rather less than she imagines if she were to actually achieve this.  After all, that's what the independence referendum was all about.

Jibes about selfies?  One wonders how often Kezia gets asked for selfies by the public.  That's the point she misses.  Nicola Sturgeon takes selfies with people because people ask her to, not because she offers.  It's a bit like people who tut at someone saying 'I'm on the train' into their mobile.  It's because the person on the other end has almost certainly asked 'where are you?'

Sadly I think Kezia is a fine example of the Peter Principle, and has reached the level of her own incompetence.  And that's a bad thing because Scottish politics needs a decent opposition for the SNP.

Will Kezia hang on as leader after May?  I suspect she will, until after the council elections in 2017.  After that, all bets will be off.